i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I FOUND THE LEGS
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
