I'm eating all of the evidence.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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