I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
