I wanna bring you to show and tell
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
