p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
