chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
