i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
