you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
