i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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