she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
