i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
