Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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