He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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