Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
