you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
