Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
