he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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