I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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