I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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