How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
