I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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