he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize