You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
so much tequila, so little girl.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
