oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
