very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
