he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
