im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Non-Jews are for practice
kristin has been a bad kristin
Michael Bay diarrhea
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
