Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
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At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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