Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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