Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
