This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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