You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
