but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
