wanna go halves on a baby?
where does the pee come out of this thing
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
