White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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