my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
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I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
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I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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