I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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