Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
