He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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