Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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