Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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