is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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