Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
