oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize