Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
