dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
