I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just want to make out with him forever
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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