Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
