This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
