am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
