I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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