You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so explain again why im purple
no
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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