Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
