got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
