weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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