he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
