she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Randomize
