I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
