he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wish I only lived at night.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
