her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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