Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
