I'm going to jail i love you
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize