i will never coherently bang her
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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