it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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