My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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