Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize