It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Randomize
